Fireworks And Fireball Whisky

Hello hello hello again everyone! This is Elder McMullin coming in again to tell you about all the strange and horrible events of the week! So, without any delay, Here we go!

On Monday, the district decided to go treasure hunting at our local goodwill to see what glorious things we could unearth. Little did I know that this goodwill had (rightfully) earnes the nickname *the bins*, as the whole store consisted of 10 blue laundry bins that you had to ruffle through, question life choices, and maybe pick up an STD before finding anything. It was completely worth it, though, as I am the proud owner of the official VeggieTales Bible. The best part? It's unedited from a regular international translation, so you can read Songs of Solomon with commentary from Bob the Tomato. 

It was also the fourth of July this week (as you all hopefully know), which meant strange things down here. We spent our evening having the most American meal ever- beans and rice, listening to Pueto Rican covers of famous rap songs. This was of course after we installed some blinds in our host's front window while a holographic Virgin Mary/Catholic Jesus poster stared us down. Later though, we got permission to see the fireworks in Norfolk harbor, home of the Navy and many explosive materials. The show was stunning, but the creepiest part was walking to it through downtown. The fireworks sounded like munitions going off, and it echoed around the deserted city like it was WWIII. SpooOOOOooky. 

To finish out the title line, I had an *ahem* unfortunate run in with a lady who drank one too many fireball whisky shots. For those that don't know, Fireball is one of those weird little liquor bottles that hotels sometimes have for the sole purpose of getting you stoned in as little time as possible. This lady probably had about 4. She walked up to me in a line so unstraight it attended a pride parade before slurring out the words "youwannahaveone?" I politely declined, When she then offered to, er, take my virginity as one of those "church boys". After (less politely) declining, her friends ushered her away, leaving me confused and thinking about how to file a restraining order. 

All in all though, it was a great week. A new person came to church, someone else wants to be baptized, and we went to go finding i110° weather. I did not know my shins could sweat. 

Anyways, happy fourth and happy days!

-Elder McMullin

Photos:

1- some fire glasses I found in a Chrysler Pacifica 

2- A Bible, a Bible, I need no more Bible.

3- the most spookiest hallway we prossed in. 

4-heres to you, grandma!

5- Boom, bang, shangalang!

6-Shinsweat+, coming soon to a Walmart parking lot near you!