I Stole A Dead Man's Pasta Shells

Hello again everyone! Coming live from the city with the worst shoplifting spree in the country, it's Elder McMullin! As per the usual, if you have any good memes or plagiarized song lyrics, please send them my way and I will happily read them. So, without further ado, here we go!

This week has been a little more rough on the work side. We've had some really good lessons, but some of our friends we're working with have stalled out a bit. We need Dewayne to come to church one more time, Andre to come at all, and Marvin might never be able to make it because our ward sucks with rides. But, we're still chipping away and praying that a golden investigator will appear... eventually. In the meantime, we'll keep trawling every parking lot east of Elizabeth River like a strange urban version of Peter.

In other news- TRANSFERS! I have finally finished training (first two transfers) which meant I could do something actually exciting this next transfer. And exciting it is! I am losing Elder Rinquest and getting a new comp, Elder Mills, who is supposedly very short and very fun. With this change does come catastrophic change, though. We have a butt ton of new missionaries coming in (33) and so a lot of new areas have opened just to make room. Despite being new though, they apparently need cars, so we have to lose our crappy equinox and go *sniff* CAR SHARE. WHERE WE BIKE EVERY OTHER DAY. Seeing as my bike was stolen, I can't ride it very well anyways, and we have to share with the other elders, I am not happy. 

Now, for the title line. Every Saturday, our district plus YSA  goes to the church and blasts through our area books to call and invite literally everyone. This Saturday though, we pull up and see some cars in the parking lot. No biggie, we thought. It's just some youth activity that'll be done soon. We walk in and a bunch of Polynesian sisters invite us over to their buffet table, because their cleaning up and "don't want to waste food". I happily prepare a plate laden with salted pork and pasta salad when my comp goes ashen-faced. He's looking across the room at a small vignette set up in the cultural hall, holding pamphlets commemorating the death of a Mr. Pat Easley. Suddenly the pieces click for me as well, and I realize that this funeral service was FOR THE GUY WE BLESSED NOT TWO WEEKS AGO. I still have my hospital pass, and his wife gave us $40 bucks for coming. The pork goes dry in my mouth as I realize I am staring down Pat's urn, plain as day, while I eat his gosh darn food. Apparently, my comp and I are not very good at blessings of health, but I know he is much happier now- with or without his luncheon cookies.

Anyways, I hope y'all have a blessed beginning to fall, and best of wishes to all of you starting school again!

From your favorite grave robber,

Elder McMullin

Photos!

1: We sent off the dying missionaries with one more trip to the beach

2: SQUIRREL

3: Meet the all new Nexus pathfinder, otherwise known as the Lissan RX

4: Radar plane out by NATO, scanning for terrorists and hopefully not Walmart Offenders.

5: I ate an entire Haagen Daas ice cream in like 20 minutes and I'm not sure how I feel about that.

6: RIP Pat. Your salads will be missed.





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