CHiPs Has Got Their Work Cut Out For Them

Howdy again everyone! Coming live from special spot where the Uber rich and mega poor share the same river, it's Elder McMullin! As always, feel free to send me CCTV equipment or pepper spray, and I will happily utilize both. So, without further ado, here we go! 

  This week was pretty good for work! We found 3 new people which aren't the greatest, but we have faith they'll pull through- it may take a couple of blast texts or the Second Coming, but they'll come around. In other news, Dan is growing ever closer to Baptism! We went through requirements and gave him a BOM (that he asked for, no less!) And he is one step away from being on date. Keep him in your prayers, and something magic might happen! Speaking of on date, the Albermarle elders did put someone on date, meaning I might actually be able to do my DL job and interview someone. Their date is set for February, and her boss is in the Bishopbric, so they have all power over her life to make it happen.

  In other news, our ward Christmas party was a blast! We had some friends we've been trying to get to church show up, which is always nice, but I couldn't stop to talk. You see, I foolishly volunteered to do balloon animals to help ward relations and have a bit of fun. What I was not expecting was the response. The coordinator put me in the front of the gym where 70+ people are eating and told the kids to line up. For the next 129 minutes, I desperately obeyed commands and did my best to fulfill the ludicrous requests that come through every time. Highlights were a dragon, many swords, butterflies, and a couple of basketballs. Not even Santa or the horrible 1960 Rudolph movie could tear their attention away. Even more humorous were the adults, who's compliments ranged from "oh that's incredible! Where'd you learn that?" To "You have younger siblings, don't you?". Overall, both my supply and my fingers were exhausted, but every kid left with a smile and at least 2 balloon animals because they are all cheaters and kept line cutting when I wasn't looking. 

   To explain the title line, Elder Griffiths and I got the fright of our lives in the projects. We were trying to headhunt a referral of ours who gave us the housing development but not the house she lived in. Geared up for some solid knocking, we step out, only to hear a strange thrumming. It grows louder and louder, until a moped carrying two obese men in ski masks bursts through onto the sidewalk, revving their four-cylinder for all she's got and desperately swerving to avoid a random lady. As they zing past, she lets loose a string of words not appropriate to put in print and screams she's calling the cops. We hear her THROUGH THE EXTERIOR WALL make the call, and soon the cops roll up in an undercover van and Kevlar vests. We hear rumors of an ongoing chase, and decide this is an appropriate time to make our exit and peel out of there, not wanting another run-in with the police. I'll keep ya posted if they ever get caught and convicted!

Well, that's all I've got this week. Hope y'all have a fantastic week leading up into Christmas, and I wish you all the best of the holidays!

From your favorite Witness protection member,

Elder McMullin

Photos!

1: Thats... not quite right.

2: Birthday burrito!

3: dumpy ol battle Droid

4: ah yes. Do not anger the deep water.