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Showing posts from January, 2025

I Am The Greatest Hoe In North Carolina

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Well howdy again everyone! Coming live from the windswept and ice blasted Eastern Seaboard, it's Elder McMullin! As always, if you'd like to send me a new dryer or some Prozac, please feel free to do so and I will happily accept. But, without further ado, here we go!    I'm just going to come out and say it, this week was the best/worst I've had on the mission and of my life. I'm going to be breaking my usual style of writing (which should key you in on just HOW bad it's been) in order to really help you feel the insanity E. City's been up to. For starters: Monday was District P day with Albermarle, meaning 3 hours of Magic: The Gathering mostly against our will and bowling. I won the first game with a whopping 102 or something like that, before getting wrecked by Elder Walker and his five strikes. Plus, our LMP fell through, which sucked. Tuesday was much much worse. District council got off without a hitch, then Albermarle revealed that their car was going...

The Lord's Instrument May Be A Motorized Gatling Gun

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Hello again everyone! Coming live from the freezing southern coastline, it's Elder McMullin! As always, feel free to send me a good shovel or a blowtorch, and I will happily accept it. But, without further ado, here we go!   This week was certainly wacky for work. Elder Griffiths and I sounded pavement for an unholy amount of time on Tuesday and Wednesday, desperately trying to find someone to start the week right. Plus, a member fell through on our weekly lesson with a friend, meaning LMPs were going in low as well. But- it all turned around on Friday when we managed to find 4 people at our usual finding spots! They all seemed interested, and hopefully will come to church one of these days. Not this week though, as we got a whopping two to sacrament. I won't turn my nose up at that, but I do wish people would set cartoonishly large alarm clocks to wake them up and get them to a holy place.       Now for the sad news. Transfers came and went, and unlike a few we...

Theodore Roosevelt Would Approve Of My Sleeping Habits

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    Well Hola again everyone! Coming live from the state with the only native population of Venus fly traps, it's Elder  McMullin ! As always, feel free to send me any umbrellas or tulip bulbs, and I will happily receive them. But, without further ado, here we go!      This week was far better for work than last. We still had an absolutely stupid amount of time in parking lots, but we found two new people and ticked the box on almost every other KI. We (obviously) didn't baptize anyone, but we got one one date, one LMP, two sacrament attendance, and the very beginning of the Currituck Squad Bomb! The wards have also been incredibly helpful (especially Currituck) as things are finally happening out there.    Speaking if all of these on-dates and Currituck work, there is an absolute miracle going in in Carolina. Fast-backward to Newtown with Elder Mills, and he found this super elect guy they put on date. He was doing real well, until Elder Mills ge...

"Kathy-No! They Know What That Means. It Means IM IN THE SWAMP!"

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  Well hello again everyone! Coming live from just south of the major ice storm swinging through, it's Elder  McMullin ! As always, if you would like to send me any road salt or snowplow components, I would happily accept them. But, without further ado, here we go! This week was pretty bad in all honesty. That 200% increase I mentioned in my last email was in fact the only increase of the week. And to top it off, we had several all-day "finding days", where every moment you spend doing missionary work is spent in parking lots inviting people. Elder Griffiths ran the numbers, and it came out to something like 30 hours this week, with 2 new people found in the first 30 min. But! Sometimes the Lord has to try his people just a lil bit in order to prove if they are ready for greater things. I feel like we are, so I'm cautiously optimistic about how this next week is going, or if we can break last weeks finding record. On the bright side, we did get 2 to church, which was...