Get Me A Whip And A Will To Punch Nazis

Hello again everybody!

Coming live from the state where the word CROATOAN gained some spooky lore, it's Elder McMullin! As always, feel free to send me any preschool toys or goldfish, and I will happily enjoy them. But, without further ado, here we go!
    This week was certainly something alright. Tuesday proceeded with an unpositive interaction with our recent convert, who wholeheartedly believed Eminem was coming to her child's birthday party and was telling the world in codes on Facebook. She's back out of it now, but it took several days of pounding on her door and frantically messaging Elder Griffiths for ideas to help. Then Wednesday was a tone shift to Zone Conference! I was sick as a dog that morning, but still chucked on my suit, shoes, and glorious full-windsor tie as we once again journeyed to the Northern lands. It was all pretty run-of-the-mill, except president. We're not sure if it's because the mission is out of a funk and baptizing again or if it he's trying to go out with a bang, but he gave a talk that would put Seinfeld to shame. He mentioned how he tortured his MTC comp, jokingly transferred the APs when they put a funny picture of him on the screen, and dropped the sage poetic wisdom of "never make fun of the person who has more mic time than you".   
    The highlight was his spiritual thought. He asked us if we knew what Greenwich time was, and a few meager hands (of whom I may have been one) went up. He then explained that time starts in Greenwich and moves out from that as time zones, as a way to regulate the suns travel so noon is noon everywhere. He then flipped it on its head and said that his Greenwich time was 43 years, 10 months, and 22 days ago- when he started his mission. He challenged all of us to find that moment that  would define where time started for us, a moment on the mission or the mission as a whole that would define where your adult life started- your standard time. I thought it was great, and then we had a BOM call with Cody an hour after so we felt real productive- and it looks like we'll hit the 29th! Slightly less productive was digging through the trash at Freddie's because Elder Nelson lost his phone, as well as getting robbed by the Hermanas as we left our car unlocked, but hey. 
     To explain the title line, work was pretty meh this week, as no one showed up for their dang RAs. We either had to do them over phone with Cody, or go to their house like Dan (who did feed us steak which was pretty gas). This meant a lot of down time in the church waiting for people to come or having a few minutes before the lesson got started. This quickly evolved into trying to find the secrets of the E city building- of which we found a major one! Under the stage in an undisclosed location, we heard rumors of tunnels that led to unknown places. Due to my small size, I was chief cavern explorer, squat-walking what felt like a mile but was actually like 20 ft to get to the long-lost ruins. After opening the "door" by swinging the plywood out of our way, we were met with it: the long lost room of the E city church. By using an old sawhorse, we stepped in to claim the treasure that HAS to be in a room like this. There was no Holy Grail or Ark of the Covenant (or 1830 Book of Mormon) to satisfy our Indy-esque chase through the dungeon, but it was still a blast. After a quick photoshoot and lots of laughter, we sealed the secret tunnel once again, leaving nothing but footprints and a chastity pamphlet for the next spelunkers to find, and learning that the real treasure was the friends we made along the way (as well as a spectacular quad workout).

Anyways, hope yall had a fantastic week, and I'm excited to talk to yall again soon!

From your favorite Elder in the air ducts,

Elder McMullin

Photos!
1: the mighty Chesapeake Zone. Some more seasoned readers may recognize the slew of old comps around me.
2: (not) my little ponies
3: we had a dang marathon that interrupted our whole commercial flow. Not that there's much commerce coming in or out, but still.
4: Gobble gibble here's another bible
5: secret location
6: I look far too proud of myself for getting down there.
7: How very sus! could I be *the imposter?* 






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