Equal Parts MacGyver, HAL 9000, And PT Barnum
Hello Hello hello again everyone! Coming live from the hub of international travel I live in, it’s Elder McMullin! As always, if you would like to send me any TTE monitors or a slimline microphone, I will happily accept. But, without further ado, here we go!
As all good things must go, I had to leave North Carolina this Thursday. After sweeping those admittedly grungy floors, packing up my detritus of several month’s worth, and slightly breaking the zipper on my suitcase as I tried yet again to make everything fit in as little space as possible, I may have cried just a little bit. I have loved Elizabeth City, and even though it was the toughest area to come into out of bustling Norfolk, I know it's where I needed to be. Plus, the district gave me a grand farewell as we blasted the OBX for our last P day together. First, we went to Jockey’s ridge, the largest (and migratory) sand dune in North Carolina. I say migratory because apparently there was a mini-golf course in the 1970s where the sand dune now is. All it took was one hurricane, and poor old “Royal Sands Putt Putt” was deep enough to where only Indiana Jones could find it. After that, we snagged some food at the local Wendy’s and hit the entrance of a pier to look longingly into the ocean like widows from an Ernest Hemingway book. That was not the plan, but it cost $2 to walk across the stupid thing and we were not about to blow our precious MSF. Then, we blew quite a lot of money at the single greatest establishment I have ever seen- FLIPPERS.
You see, Flippers is part gas station, part pizzeria, part laundromat, and PART PINBALL HALL. Never did I think all these things could line up, but that cinderblock beauty did and did it well. I blew $15 on the Jurassic Park Pinball machine, having no idea what I was doing and just frantically smacking the paddles. Elder Juncker and Elder Seiter were on the D&D machines going to town, and Elder Rinquest (Who is perpetually penniless) just absorbed the chaos of it all. Towards the end of my games, I finally realized what all the blinking lights lined up with and managed to rack up a pretty decent score of 73,000,000, including TWO T-rex multiballs and quite a lot of Dennis Nedry quotes.
Past that, it was saying goodbye to Cody and Dan, the other recent converts, and the area in general. But what comes next is just as exciting. After leaving the E city house in complete disarray (I didn't do dishes for like a week out of spite) we drove up to Richmond to receive our new areas and Comps. I was shocked as Elder Morgan (My new compadre) led me to the back of the church, sat me down within 10 minutes of getting there, and started walking me through how to purge the coms system for next transfer. After fixing about 5 spreadsheets, we moved on to referral management, where we send out all the stuck referrals because they're addresses frankly suck. THEN, we practiced the PowerPoint we were to give at Mission Leadership Conference the next day, and finally went home- WITH A LAPTOP! The little beauty never leaves my side nowadays so I (read: Elder Morgan) can fix whatever 10,000 systems are broken that day.
To explain the title line, this new job has quite the diversity. Most of it is just jerry-rigging until its functional, other times you are knee-deep in code you didn’t write and have 0 idea how it works, and then you have to present that data (with no idea what it means) to the top missionaries and President. It’s been a lot, but I feel myself learning and developing in ways I didn’t know I could. Also, BS-ing most of the presentations wish the McMullin flair to look like I’m a functioning SML has helped, but still.
Anyways, I hope yall have a great rest of your week, and talk to you again soon!
From your favorite fake-it-till-you-make-it employer,
Elder McMullin
Photos!
1: My new setup
2: Goodbye, you claptrap wreck of a home!
3: A pastor gave me a dollar-store umbrella.
4: DING DIDIDIDING DIDING DING DING DING DIDIDING
5: Really cool pamphlet we found in the attic of the church.
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