Bribery And Piracy Are Apparently Allowed In Standards

Hello again everyone! Coming live from the home of the little Southern Rebellion we call the CSA, it's Elder McMullin! As always, feel free to send me any swords or rolled-up one dollar bills, and I will happily accept! But, without further ado, here we go!
   This week was almost an absolute disaster, as no one was saying yes to any of our invites. It sucked for the duration of our parking lot time, and sucked even more when we came to Saturday and had no numbas, which was not a good look for us. But, bless the heavens above when our friend JT came go sacrament! It had been a long while since we talked to him, but he remembered the address and came! Plus, he really enjoyed the talks and said he'd bring his family next time, AND left before some shenanigans went down in Elder's Quorum involving a screaming member and our bishop almost getting bonked by and Ipad that belonged to the guy teaching the lesson. Needless to say, the Holy Ghost was pulling more than His weight that day, and I'll keep you posted as JT keeps progressing! 
   In other news, the leadership is bracing for impact as President Warburton comes to play! He just got added to our main Misson chat, and President has said most if not all of his fond goodbyes as his plane takes off tomorrow morning. We were able to catch is last testimony last night on MLC, which was both tender and tragic. The spirit was so strong and we could feel it immensley, specially, which was Shocking since we had just finished fixing the powerpoint that was being live-presented as we made desperate repairs on slides 10 seconds before going live. It has been a great ride and some unforgettable times with President Hutchison, and I am pained to lose him. But, I know that President Warburton should be something special as well, and I'm so excited to meet him as well!
    To explain the title line, all sorts of debauchery has been going on in the office. You see, Elder Miller and I have been gunning for the new Toyota Tacoma as long as we can remember, and resorted to the lowest forms of bribery to convince our Vehicle Coordinator. This consisted mostly of Diet Coke and Snickers bars, as well as many, many, MANY petitions. After managing to get blood from the stone that is Elder Adams, he promised us the new car. So imagine our surprise when the sisters pull up to district council, with all four wheels, tailgate, and gloating faces in THE TACOMA. I wept silently as I realize we had been bested by the only form of convincing we don't have- sister charm. We slowly turn into the office with necks hung lower than those commonly seen in nooses. So imagine our shock and awe when Elder Adams starts laughing, the sisters bust in, the Hawkes are giggling, and Sister Adams runs (and she doesn't run) down the hall to tell us SURPRISE! It turns out, THE WHOLE OFFICE united against us as a prank to pawn the truck off for a day before we officially got it. The sisters volunteered, the secretaries covered for them as they did their best to get the keys without alerting us, and choreographed the big reveal at DC. I am both happy that the office likes us enough to joke somewhat practically with us, but am not happy at the secret combinations required to fool us. But, it's hard to be dissapointed as we now have the best car in the mission!
   Anyways, hope yall have a great week, and see you soon!
From your favorite tailgating traitor to the office, 

Elder McMullin

1: flag
2: My parting gift to President, in Pday attire no less!
3: My baby
4: Average day in the office. Please admire my two monitor set up and look of panicked concern
5: Turtle!




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Fireworks And Fireball Whisky

Image
Hello hello hello again everyone! This is Elder McMullin coming in again to tell you about all the strange and horrible events of the week! So, without any delay, Here we go! On Monday, the district decided to go treasure hunting at our local goodwill to see what glorious things we could unearth. Little did I know that this goodwill had (rightfully) earnes the nickname *the bins*, as the whole store consisted of 10 blue laundry bins that you had to ruffle through, question life choices, and maybe pick up an STD before finding anything. It was completely worth it, though, as I am the proud owner of the official VeggieTales Bible. The best part? It's unedited from a regular international translation, so you can read Songs of Solomon with commentary from Bob the Tomato.  It was also the fourth of July this week (as you all hopefully know), which meant strange things down here. We spent our evening having the most American meal ever- beans and rice, listening to Pueto Rican covers of f...
Read more

Fun Fact: Jesus Is Black

Image
Hello again everyone! This is Elder McMullin calling in again to share the wild, wacky, and downright wonderful parts of this week! So without further ado, here we go! We had zone conference this week, which was super exciting. It started out with a bunch of gym Games (think YM/YW but with a bunch of immature guys in full suits).  I am proud to say I got a ping pong ball into a cup during one of the games, meaning that my area won the tournament. Go us. Then, we got all of the speeches (some of which I was awake for) and then sang our Mission anthem, the Battle Hymn of the Republic. I know, I know, a bit weird, but a guy with a full ride to BYU for organ playing was our accompanist, so it was a blast. I truly felt like kicking a confederate in the face after it- spiritually, of course. In other news, there is a strange sect of Christianity out here that is fun to deal with- the Hebrew Israelites. Their whole doctorine hangs on the fact that Jesus is black based on one description. ...
Read more